


Doc

by whiteduck6



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, M/M, autistic 10k, im just. so into paternal relationships you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 18:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16351460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteduck6/pseuds/whiteduck6
Summary: Doc's perceptive.10k comes out to Doc.





	Doc

**Author's Note:**

> back at it again with the "10k comes out to people" series that definitely isn't just me living vicariously through these characters
> 
> please enjoy!! <3

The next morning, 10k tells Connor that he told Cassandra. He’s not sure why, but he gives him the heads-up anyways. 

“I’m proud of you,” he says, kissing 10k softly on the mouth. “That was really brave.”

“I just told someone that we’re together,” 10k says.

“You took a chance,” Connor says, “I don’t think I’ve told anyone in the last three years.”

“O-oh, should I not have . . .” 10k trails off. He feels a sinking sensation in his gut. He _really_ doesn’t want to lose Connor because he missed some stupid social cue or unspoken rule.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Connor says, “if you trust these people, I trust them. They seem okay. I mean, they didn’t immediately try to kill me when they first saw me. That’s a pretty good indicator, right?”

10k laughs a little weakly.

“Anyway, I’m proud of you,” Connor says, “like I said. Don’t forget it, okay?”

“Y-yeah,” 10k says, still a little unsure. A grin pulls at his lips and Connor kisses him again on the corner of his mouth, then pulls away with a wicked, toothy smile.

“I bet I can beat you to that pharmacy,” Connor says, then throws himself out of the truck bed and starts sprinting down the road. 10k’s glad for the change in topic as he follows suit. 

Connor’s fast but 10k’s faster. Connor is a little bigger, a little taller and more muscular than 10k, and 10k’s pa insisted on him doing track and field in school. He’s been running all his life. He beats Connor by a handbreadth, slapping the glass door of the pharmacy a little too hard, alerting a couple zees inside. They slide their hands all over the glass door, making that weird hiss-groan sound they make. 

Connor catches him around the shoulder, dragging them both over a little as they laugh breathlessly.

“Damn, you’re fast,” Connor pants, “Bet you’ve outrun a lot of zees.”

“Probably more than I’ve killed,” 10k says, glancing back at the others. Cassandra is sitting on the edge of the truck bed, and Addy has her hands on Cassandra’s knees. Addy’s leaning forward to say something quietly to Cassandra. Cassandra giggles, leaning away and covering her mouth with a hand. 

Murphy puts his hands on his hips and rolls his head around sort of dramatically. Warren smacks him on the back of the head. 

Doc glances over at them. 

10k slithers out from under Connor’s arm.

“Ah, sorry,” Connor says, pulling his hand away.

“It’s not—it’s not you, it’s . . .” 10k stumbles over the right way to word this, and Connor nods so understandingly.

“It’s fine,” Connor says. “Tell them when you’re ready.”

“I know,” 10k says. “I know.”

“You wanna check this place out?” Connor says, tapping a knuckle against the glass pharmacy door. The zombie inside slaps against the glass a little bit more.

“Yeah,” 10k says, pulling out a hunting knife. 

Connor pulls the door open. 10k knifes the zombie through the eye. A quick glance around the small pharmacy shows that the zombie was alone.

“Hm, must have been a pharmacist,” Connor says as he steps over the stained white coat covering the corpse. 

10k scans the aisles — getting medical supplies in the apocalypse is pretty idiot-proof, you basically just grab everything and look at labels later — but he likes to be able to get an inventory for Doc.

“What are you looking for?” Connor asks, sidling up to him.

“You should keep an eye out,” 10k says quietly, not really moving to try and push Connor towards the door like he would with someone else. A soft smile plays at his lips as Connor leans against his shoulder. 

“The others are close enough,” Connor smirks. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we can protect each other.”

“I’m not some damsel, you know,” 10k says, bumping his shoulder against Connor’s.

“I know,” Connor says, linking his fingers through 10k’s. “I trust you. I know I’ll be safe with you, and I know you’re safe with me.”

10k flushes. He’s dated one person before, some girl at his high school who went out with him once before promptly never talking to him again and repeating every social cue he missed, every slightly strange thing he said, turning him into a pariah, but he’s never heard _anyone_ speak with the raw affection in Connor’s voice. He looks over at Connor, starting to lean in for a kiss.

“10k! Connor!” Doc says, and they jump apart. 10k stumbles, grabbing onto the shelf for support, knocking bottles everywhere. They clatter all over the metal shelf and the floor, and 10k tries to make it look like he wasn’t sneaking around.

“We’re leavin’, kids,” Doc says, his eyes flicking between them but his face not betraying anything. It would probably go over 10k’s head if it did, he was never good with facial expressions.

“We’ll be right there,” Connor says.

Doc nods, hesitates for maybe a second longer than is normal, and then leaves again. 

“I need to tell him,” 10k breathes, closing his eyes and balling his hands into fists. 

“When you’re ready,” Connor says, gently unfolding 10k’s tense fingers. 

“Yeah,” 10k scrubs a hand across his face. “I’m gonna have a heart attack if that happens one more time.”

Connor laughs a little, settling a hand against 10k’s lower back, leading him out of the pharmacy. Connor pulls his hand away as soon as the others can see them. 10k misses the warm handprint through his shirt. 

He _really_ needs to think about telling the others. 

—

That evening, at dinner, the words sit heavy on his tongue. They soak into his tongue, making it swell and sewing his mouth shut from the inside. He barely speaks the entire time they’re eating, and he picks at his food. 

He’s nauseous. He’s more nauseous when he looks at Murphy.

10k likes lists. He likes keeping track of things. If he were to make a list of the people who would react to the fact that he and Connor are dating, from the most predictable reaction to the most unpredictable, it would look like this:

1\. Cassandra  
2\. Addy  
3\. Doc  
4\. Roberta  
5\. Murphy

He doesn’t like unpredictability at the best of times. He knows Doc would always take his side over Murphy’s. He knows Roberta likes him.

He also knows that Roberta will die getting Murphy to California. She’ll do anything. 

If Murphy and 10k have a sudden, irreparable clash of interests, Roberta will choose Murphy over him. It’s nothing personal. But it would hurt.

He knows Cassandra, Addy, and Doc would take his side. He doesn’t want to leave Roberta on her own. 

For that reason, he keeps his mouth shut. 

When 10k can’t force himself to eat any more, he sucks the Chef Boyardee lasagna off his fork, sticks it back in his bag, and starts to reseal the can with one of those lids you put on cat food.

“Don’t waste that!” Murphy says. “Give me that. You owe me for the Twinkie.”

10k looks at him blankly for a moment, then shrugs and hands it over. He’s right. But he can’t even meet Murphy’s eyes right now. Thankfully, no one seems to notice.

“Man, don’t be such a bitch,” Addy groans, sinking back further under Cassandra’s fingers. Cassandra is massaging at her neck with a startlingly aggressive technique, but Addy seems to like it. It looks like she’s going to bruise in the morning. 

“I’m not,” Murphy says through a mouth full of pasta. “I just don’t want to be wasteful.”

“Don’t strong-arm a kid into giving you food, though,” she says. 

“I’m not a kid,” 10k says on instinct.

“You’re younger than me, and you don’t know how to drive,” Addy says. “You’re a kid.”

“You don’t know how to drive?” Connor looks over at him. 

“N-no,” 10k says, hoping this won’t be the straw that breaks the _you’re weird_ camel’s back. “I was only fourteen when the apocalypse started, so—“

“I’ll teach you,” Connor says, “next time we’re on a highway. I taught myself that way. Found a driving textbook and a working car and just went for it. Three cars later, I knew how to drive.”

There’s a round of laughter from the group. 10k doesn’t quite get it but he fakes a laugh anyway, trying not too look like too much of an idiot in front of him. 

“You could stand to have a driving lesson, kid,” Doc says.

“Just keep your hands to yourselves in the car,” Murphy grumbles, “don’t need any teenage pregnancies.”

10k chokes on nothing, grabs his throat like he’s trying to strangle himself, then chokes out an excuse that he doesn’t remember a second later and stumbles out into the forest.

The blackness of the forest is comforting, but dangerous. He climbs a tree and leans against the trunk. He’s not as panicked as last time, but he doesn’t like being exposed like that. He knows Murphy probably doesn’t mean anything by it. 

It doesn’t mean he has to like it.

“10k?” He hears Connor whisper from somewhere below him. 10k glances down, then wiggles onto his stomach and reaches a hand down.

“I’m up here,” he says, and he sees the dull outline of Connor nearly jumping out of his skin underneath him. The moon appears from behind the clouds, and Connor looks up and grins, scampering up the tree until he’s sitting on a branch beside 10k.

“Listen, I don’t want to tell you when you should or shouldn’t come out to your friends. It’s a big decision, and it’s yours to make. But if you run away like that every time Murphy insinuates something, it _really_ makes it look like something’s going on.”

“I know,” 10k sighs, and kneads the heels of his hands into his eyes. “It’s just—ever since the apocalypse, I can pretty much deal with anything by just . . . walking away.”

“It’s easy to fall into the habit,” Connor reaches across and lays a hand on 10k’s shoulder blade. “But sometimes just getting it all out there and clearing the air is the best way to do things. But, like I said, your decision. I’ll be there no matter what.”

10k breathes out a weak laugh and leans back against the tree. His feet are dangling on either side of the branch, just in sight of anyone who happened to walk past. 

Connor hops over to 10k’s branch, straddling it so he’s facing him. Connor braces himself with his hands and looks 10k in the face.

“Are you sleeping out here tonight?”

“No,” 10k says, “I’ll probably head back once most of them are asleep. I’ll give it a few hours.”

“Just make sure no one shoots you on the way back. You kind of look like a zombie in the dark.”

10k scoffs, making sure he sounds light enough so that Connor knows he’s joking, and nudges Connor a little on the shoulder. Not enough to actually move him, but a parody of a shove. 

“I mean, Murphy . . .” Connor sucks in a breath through his teeth. “He’s lucky no one’s mercied him yet. He looks like a zee even in broad daylight.”

10k laughs, and Connor scoots forward a little. “I know we were interrupted in the pharmacy today,” he breathes, and 10k feels a shiver run down his spine. “I don’t think anyone will be coming by here for a while.”

10k takes the hint. He tips his head forward, kissing Connor on the mouth. He can feel Connor’s smile under his lips as he kisses back, wrapping his warm, dry hands around 10k’s face. 

10k lays his hands on Connor’s hips, bumping his nose against Connor’s cheekbone as he presses another kiss to the corner of Connor’s mouth. Connor kisses him again, moving even closer so their chests are almost touching. 

They kiss for a while longer, then Connor starts trailing his lips down the sharp line of 10k’s jawbone, onto the sinewy tendons of his neck. Connor scrapes his teeth against 10k’s pulse for just a moment, and 10k’s eyes flutter open just in time to see Doc approaching. 

“Doc’s here,” 10k whispers, and Connor pulls back. 10k’s eyes have adjusted to the dark, and Connor’s lips are red and his cheeks are flushed. 10k’s certain he looks similar.

It looks like they were making out in a tree.

“10k? You out here?” Doc calls. 10k barely breathes as he watches Doc below them. “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, didn’t get eaten by a zee or anything.”

“You should say something,” Connor breathes, his lips brushing against the shell of 10k’s ear. “He’s worried.”

“I—I’m okay, Doc,” 10k says, trying and failing not to sound strangled.

“Where the hell are ya?” Doc mutters, almost to himself. Louder, he says, “You sure? You don’t sound so good.”

10k nearly laughs out loud at that. He’s doing just fine. “I’m sure,” he says, and Connor stifles a giggle against his shoulder.

“Okay, if you’re certain,” Doc says. _He_ certainly doesn’t sound certain. He’s still glancing around, trying to figure out where 10k is.

He looks up.

The moon shows itself again, and all three of them are illuminated. Connor still has his head in the crook of 10k’s neck, and doesn’t see the blood drain from 10k’s face. 

Doc looks up at 10k, who can barely feel his hands from their comfortable spot on Connor’s hips. 

_This can’t be written off as friendship._

10k swallows heavily, and Doc is still looking at him. Doc shakes himself a little, then glances away. “Uh, I’ll be—I’ll be goin’ back,” he mutters. 

10k’s blood runs cold. 

Connor pulls away from 10k, and looks down to see Doc walking away.

“Shit,” Connor mutters, rubbing his hands up and down 10k’s arms, pressing hard. “Did he see us?”

“Yeah,” 10k chokes out, “yeah, I think he—“

His voice breaks.

His cheeks get hot.

His eyes burn.

Connor holds him tightly as 10k lets himself cry for the first time in three years.

—

10k doesn’t cry often. He expresses sadness in other ways, but when he does cry, it’s a production.

He isn’t able to stop himself for what must be an hour. Connor doesn’t say anything about it when 10k starts whimpering the monologue his anxiety is providing him: _How could you let him see that, he’s not going to like you anymore, he’s older, he’s traditional, he thinks you’re disgusting, you’re weak, YOU NAUSEATE HIM!_

When 10k finally manages to calm himself down, he glances back at their campsite to see that someone put out the fire they heated their dinners over, and he can see Doc’s flannel from the roof of the car where he’s keeping watch.

“You need to talk to him,” Connor says. “I’ll be there for you, I swear. But you can’t just ignore this one.”

“I know,” 10k says. He knows exactly what’s going to happen.

It’s going to hurt to lose Doc.

They climb down the tree, and 10k stalls a little, trying to work some of the feeling back into his legs.

_Just a few more minutes. A few more minutes of a period of time when I’ve never heard “Don’t talk to me” from him._

“Hey, c’mon,” Connor says. “It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

10k takes a shaky breath. “I trust you.”

Connor smiles softly at him. “I’ll be right here.”

He stands just beside the road as 10k shuffles up to Doc. He keeps his eyes on the ground as he does so. He really doesn’t need the double whammy of spiteful words and a disgusted face.

He breathes as quietly as he can for a few moments beside the truck, trying to figure out how to word this. With Cassandra, there was common ground. There was something she could sympathize with. 

There’s nothing with Doc.

Doc slides off the roof of the truck, on the side opposite 10k. 10k feels a lump form in his throat as he hunches into himself a little. _He can’t even stand to_ look _at me?_

Doc appears on the other side and walks over to 10k. As soon as he’s in arms’ length, he wraps 10k in a hug so tight he can barely breathe.

“It’s okay, kid,” Doc says, and 10k lets out a shaky breath against Doc’s shirt.

“It’s okay?” 10k asks, because he has to know, he has to know if this is about the Connor thing or about something else, something he didn’t know about.

“I’m glad you found him,” Doc clarifies, and 10k nearly sobs in relief. 

Doc holds him for a while longer until he stops shaking, and until the anxiety in his head has shut up.

—

Connor joins them at the side of the truck eventually, when 10k’s calmed down. He presses the back of his hand against 10k’s, an invitation, but he doesn’t force anything. 10k takes his hand and Doc doesn’t even give it a second glance. 

“You take care of him,” Doc says to Connor. “If you hurt him, I’ll have to kill you. And I won’t mercy you, either.”

Connor laughs, some real nerves making their way into his voice. “Yes, sir.” He salutes with his free hand. “But I think 10k can take care of himself.”

Doc laughs heartily and claps Connor on the shoulder. “I’ll let you kids get to bed,” he says as 10k and Connor make their way to the truck bed. “But remember to stay safe. Use a condom.”

“Jesus,” 10k mutters, trying not to meet anyone’s eyes as Connor and Doc laugh like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard.

Later, when they’re settled in, 10k pressed against Connor’s side, Connor says, “I’m really glad that went well.”

“You didn’t think it would?”

“I knew it would,” Connor strokes 10k’s hair a little. “But I’m glad it was proven to you that it would go well.”

10k breathes out a sigh. “I never want to do that again,” he says. “I thought I was going to die when he saw us.”

“You don’t have to,” Connor says. 

“I should,” 10k says. “It’s just going to lead to more situations like that if I don’t say something first.”

“I’ll be there for you if you do,” Connor says. “I trust you.”

10k smiles and closes his eyes.

He’s pretty sure it’s going to work out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Sorry this fic is a little late, I had a convention, and then my computer charger died, and then I got sick -- but I'm feeling better now, my new charger is here, and the con is over so I should be back to my regular once-every-few-days posting schedule now! 
> 
> What do you guys think of Connor? I'm a little worried he's becoming a bit wooden, maybe he doesn't have enough of a personality. Should I maybe do some one-shots that develop him a bit more? 
> 
> Anyway, thank you again for reading, and as always, constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated!


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